From Anxiety to Excitement: How Reframing and Audience Focus Transform Your Speaking

Your heart pounding before a talk isn’t a warning—it’s a green light. We unpack a practical path to commanding the stage by turning “I’m anxious” into “I’m excited” and by moving the spotlight off the speaker and onto the people who came for change. Instead of opening with credentials, we walk through the power of an immediate, outcome-driven question that makes the whole room raise a hand and lean forward. From there, we build a talk around what the audience needs to hear for themselves, what will move them to act, and what will still matter next week.

We also share a behind-the-scenes moment from the Empowered Podcasting Conference: a live demonstration where a volunteer surfaced and released the belief “I am unworthy” in minutes. That shift wasn’t theoretical—you could see it in his posture, voice, and focus. We break down why focused change work can compress years into moments, how to structure a safe but powerful demo, and why giving away your best tools—workbooks, questions, and simple practices—creates trust that no slick pitch can match.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your head on stage—worrying about how you look, sound, or move—this conversation offers a reset. You’ll learn how to ground energy through your feet, pull curiosity into your mind for sharper Q&A, and use intentional language to direct your nervous system toward performance. We show how restraint (letting someone else handle a brief intro, skipping the self-focused monologue) actually amplifies credibility, and why an audience-first mindset makes people seek you out afterward without a hard sell. Ready to make rooms lean in and take notes? Follow the show, share this episode with a friend who speaks for work, and leave a quick review with your biggest takeaway.

Transcript

You Can Do This: Reframing Fear

SPEAKER_00 1:12

I've been doing a lot more speaking recently. And one of the things that I get a lot when I'm done is people who come up to me and say, I could never. I could never get on stage and speak to an audience like this. And it's so unique to me because I truly believe we all have the ability and the capacity to stand on stage and command it the way that I do. It's simply a skill. And a lot of it isn't necessarily a skill. It's just a perspective. It's a mindset. It's tools and techniques and things that I do to ensure that the audience is getting the right experience. So I wanted to share the piece of advice that I always give when someone tells me, oh, I could never. Because the truth is, you could. You very much can. Because if I can, you can. Just the way that things work. And I know that it's a buildable skill. I've seen it over and over. So here is the shift for you. The first thing that you have to do is recognize that our words are powerful. And the words that you use to label your experiences and your internal experiences and external experiences, they both matter. And in this moment, what it is is that most people who say, Oh, I could never. It's because they're labeling their internal experience, their physiological experience as fear, anxiety, being scared, right? That's what they label it as. And they go, oh no, I couldn't. I have so much anxiety around it. I'm so scared of what people are going to say or think, or I'm going to fall on my face, right? Well, all of that is, is a mislabeling because I'm having the same physiological response. Even when I'm not on stage and I'm in the audience and I hear them ask for questions and I have a question pop up in my mind, my heart immediately boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, almost like it's going to beat out of my chest. It's that energy. And so I regulate that energy. And in those moments, when I'm in the audience about to ask a question, I simply push that passion, that excitement into the floor. And I just pull curiosity up into my head so that I can stay focused on the question, stay focused on being curious. But when I'm on stage, what I'm doing is I'm taking that label, the word, the label of anxiety, and I'm shifting it because I know from science that our physiological response of anxiety and excitement are the exact same thing in the body. So it all comes down to how you label it. I used to label it as I'm anxious or I'm fearful. But instead, now it's I'm just excited. It's just my body telling me that this means something to me to bring awareness, to bring my focus here. So instead of labeling anxiety, label it excitement. And that in itself will shift your experience with these physiological responses. So shifting that label is the first thing that we want to do. The next thing you want to do is what I call shift the spotlight. And I think that's what people feel the most with me on stage is that you can tell when someone has the spotlight on themselves. Typically, they walk up to stage, hi, my name is, and they ramble about themselves for a few minutes before they actually get into the content. That's all the spotlight on them. As well as you can notice when someone's highly nervous on stage, usually it's because their brain is thinking about what are they thinking of me? Did I pick the right outfit? What do I sound like? What do I look like? Am I moving too much? Am I talking with my hands too much? Am I nervous energy? Is that showing? They're constantly thinking about what other people think of them. So the spotlight is on them. And here's the thing: I'll tell you, nobody is thinking about you. Everybody is thinking about themselves. It's as simple as that. So when you finally accept that and recognize that we are selfish beings and that it is hard for us to think of others before thinking about ourselves first, go into this with the mindset of what's in it for them? Because they're only ever thinking about what's in this for me. Especially at a conference, when they're about to listen to a whole bunch of different talks, they're not going into this, whoo, I'm gonna go in here and and and sit and support Cheryl. Cheryl really needs my energy for this. No, they're going, what am I gonna get from this session? Here's what I want out of this. What's in it for me? So recognize that and go into it completely focused on your audience. Shift the spotlight. Take the spotlight off of you and shift it to your audience. So instead of thinking, what am I gonna get out of this? What do they need to hear from me? How is this gonna make me look? How can I make myself more credible? Simply ask yourself, what do they need to hear for them? What's gonna move them into action? What's gonna stick and stay? What can I say that they will hear so loudly they have to write it down and take it home with them? Make it about them. And I truly think that is why people respond so well to my talks. At this last talk in the Empowered Podcasting Conference, the founder was the one to introduce me on stage. I was the closing workshop for the event on day one on Friday. And he asked me before we went on stage, hey, do you want me to talk about your company at all? I said, no, this is not about me. This is about them. And if they're truly interested in the work that I do, they will approach me afterwards and they will ask about it. They'll find me online, they'll go to my website, they'll read all the things, they'll submit for a call, and we'll get on a call and we'll talk about it. I am not worried. So please don't talk about me. And he went up and he just did a really quick little intro. Then I went up and the moment I got there, I didn't even say hi, my name is, because he just got done saying what my name is. So I don't need to reintroduce myself again. Instead, I just leave the spotlight on them and go right into the first question. In fact, the first question of that talk was how many people here would love to grow by 100,000 followers or a hundred thousand downloads on their podcast? And boom, every hand went up in that room. And in that moment, the light was shined on them. The spotlight was on them, and it stayed there the entire talk. Because every single thing that I was communicating wasn't for my own ego. It was because I truly wanted them to walk away with something that would help benefit them. In fact, that entire talk was created on the work, the inner work I had done on myself for the last six months, all put together into a talk for them. So they don't have to suffer like I did. Every single thing in that talk was for them. The freebies I gave away, the activities we did. I had a workbook that we only got through a handful of the questions, and there were 25 questions on that workbook for them to take home after the fact so they can continue the work. Nothing was about me. Everything was about them. And that is how you command the stage. That is how you get people to be drawn into you like magnets. Because when we simply sit here and think about ourselves, we shine the spotlight on ourselves, we are pushing people away. But when we focus on them, we draw them in. That's where you see them lean forward in their seat. In fact, I did my 40-minute talk, my workshop, and at the end, I had the honor of being able to do a demonstration live on stage of someone releasing a limiting belief. And it was so cool because I only had a 40-minute time slot, although I did have uh there was nobody after me, and it was about an hour and a half before happy hour. And so there was time, and I did get verification that I was allowed to do a demonstration and go over a little bit. So once I was done with my talk, I looked at the audience and said, that's it. That's my talk for the day. Um, you do not have to stay here any longer. Not that they had to stay here in the first place. Um, but I said, you know, if if you'd like, feel free to go. Um, otherwise, I'm gonna pull this volunteer that I just got from the audience up and do a demonstration live. And you can watch him release this belief right now. And I'll tell you, in a room with over 50 people, only three people stood up and left. Everyone else was glued to that seat and just leaned in a little bit more. They were so excited to be able to watch. And again, it wasn't about me. The demonstration was not look at how good I am. It was watch this man's life change in a split second. Because change happens in an instant. And I needed them to know that. That the work that I just talked about, those stories from our from our younger lives, from our past lives, from generational things passed down to us. Yeah, it's deep. These stories are deep, is exactly what I talked about. But then people get so caught up, and I now know my trauma and I have all these deep things, but now I have to go through 10 years of therapy to get rid of it. And it's like, no, you need to go through 10 minutes of focused change work to be able to let it go. All you need is the belief, the clarity, and then to trust and surrender and let go. And I got to show that just being present and having the right guide can get you there. And I'll tell you, I am still so honored to have had David on stage to release the old belief that I am unworthy and to step into this new story and new belief that I am bloody well worthy in his London accent. I shouldn't, I'm not an accent person, but he is from London. So it just fit. I am bloody well worthy, man. How powerful. We literally physically saw this man change in that moment on stage. And then his wife came up to me afterwards and said, I think he just gave me a new husband. I did, Tracy. I did just give you a new husband. But I didn't really do anything. He chose to become a new man. And I simply asked the right questions and moved some pictures around in his mind to help him get there. So again, shift the focus off you, shift it onto other people. And the world will be drawn to you. So be careful with your labels. Labeling something as hard makes it hard. Labeling something as easy tends to make it a little easier. Labeling something as anxiety amplifies the anxiety. Because whatever we label it, it amplifies. So continue to label things with intention that you are excited, not anxious. Because it means something to you. It's important to you. So lean into that excitement. Shift the focus on the audience, and I guarantee you too will command a stage in a way that people come up to you and say just how masterful it all was.