Breaking Free from Scarcity Mindset: Attraction Over Chasing

Have you ever felt that gnawing disappointment when a seemingly perfect client prospect suddenly ghosts you after weeks of promising conversations? That painful experience reveals a crucial truth about business relationships: the energy we bring to client acquisition directly impacts the quality of clients we attract.

This conversation dives deep into the fundamental difference between operating from scarcity versus abundance in your business. When you find yourself pursuing clients primarily because "they can afford it" rather than because "they're a good fit," you've already positioned yourself in a dangerous scarcity mindset. This subtle but powerful distinction affects everything from your sales approach to the fulfillment you experience working with clients.

The most transformative insight comes in understanding the difference between masculine "chase" energy and feminine "attraction" energy in business development. Clients who come to you through your authentic presence tend to fuel your passion throughout your work together. Meanwhile, those you've had to persistently pursue often continue requiring that same exhausting energy, leaving you drained and resentful. By turning inward and raising your own frequency instead of desperately hunting for the next client, you create a magnetic field that naturally draws perfect-fit prospects to you.

Getting crystal clear about exactly whom you serve allows you to recognize misalignments immediately and confidently refer those prospects elsewhere. This clarity might feel risky when bills are due, but it's actually your pathway to sustainable success and genuine fulfillment. The temporary pain of rejecting an imperfect opportunity pales compared to the long-term drain of working with misaligned clients. Are you ready to shift from chasing to attracting? Your ideal clients are waiting for the authentic you to show up.

Transcript

The Scarcity vs Abundance Mindset

Speaker 1 1:12

Okay. So for this client, the first thing that I heard you say when you were talking about the scenario early on in the story was he can afford it, right, that you are going to continue to pursue this relationship, this connection, this contract, because he can afford it. Versus. I was hoping you were going to say he's a good fit, versus I was hoping you were going to say he's a good fit, because the moment you said I'm doing it because he can afford it, that let me believe that we're doing this from scarcity and not from abundance, meaning we're selecting a client based on their ability to pay, not their ability to be a good match and a good frequency and something that excites you, someone that you actually desire to help and work with. That's what we're looking for to have a good match, right. So the pain that you're feeling after having this letdown right, you were being let on and that's such a terrible experience. I've been there so many times where someone says they give you their word and they say, yes, we're going to move forward with the contract in that way. Yes, I'm going to do this thing. Yes, this is how much you're going to get paid. This is what my expectations are perfect, everything seems super, and then time passes and you keep following up and you keep following up and then it just gets drawn out and drawn out and you keep getting told and appeased over and over and over and over again, until they finally turn it back around on you, pin it on you and make it seem like that's not what we talked about. I don't know what you mean and start to gaslight you, and that's never fun, because it is energetic time and investment. It's more than just the act of sending follow-up emails or calls or whatever. It's actually the thoughts and the energy that we give to these things in the background. And so the advice I would give, or the thing that came up for me, was neutrality, because when we stay neutral in the sales process, it allows us to not get sucked into. Oh, this person can afford it. You start hearing numbers about how much they make or how much they're spending in other areas of their life and you start to say, if they spend that money there, they can spend that money with me. And that takes you out of neutrality, because neutrality is okay. Yeah, if they want to work with me, great. If they don't, great. If it's a good fit for them awesome. If they can afford it, great. If they can't, great. Who knows?

Staying Neutral in Sales

Speaker 1 3:55

If someone's making a million dollars a year but spending $999,000 a year and only has that extra thousand dollars to invest, like who knows what someone's situation actually is, you don't know that you have to maintain neutrality, which is where it leads me to cool Jaina. How do I stay neutral and still make money in my business? Because I have to make money. You're feeling that crunch, You're feeling that time tick. And here's the thing is like where our attention goes, the energy flows right, and so we want to be really mindful of where we are sending our attention and our energy. We are sending our attention and our energy.

Speaker 1 4:40

So, instead of thinking about how can I transition these coaching clients into my business, how can I go out and find these people, turn inward and attract, do what you can to raise your own frequency. Get into spaces where you do get to share about yourself, but you're not looking for clients, you're just going. You're just being yourself and sharing about yourself. There is no intention to walk away with a client, there's just an intention to be there, and when you just have that intention to connect with people and have a good time.

Attraction Energy vs Chasing Clients

Speaker 1 5:10

You have a very high frequency, a very high vibration. It's a strong feminine energy of just being present in the moment, being yourself, which leads to a lot of attraction energy, which means people get attracted to you and they're like who is this person? I need to talk to them. That's what we want to do when you're going into these networking rooms. It's about just being present. It's not about, oh, I got to add value. How can I add value? What can I say to be great? No, like sometimes just being there and listening, asking good questions, that other people can have the spotlight, that can be the greatest solution. But you have to allow yourself to shift into that energy. You have to allow yourself to set the intention of just having fun and knowing that by just having fun the money will follow. But when we go into a room seeking money, money runs away from us because it can tell I've been on the side of the fence where people look at you like a wallet. They look at you like well, they look at you like, well, this person's got money, so let me get some from them. And that's what it feels like on the other side of the fence, of that frequency you're bringing into the room when you are looking for clients. So instead, go in with the feminine energy, get yourself into a flow state, a fun vibe, jam out to some good music on your way there and just walk in and have fun.

Speaker 1 6:39

Look to connect with people, because what I've learned is that when I get clients from my masculine sales energy, which is the chase call, follow up like it leads to a client who utterly drains me the entire time that I have that client, versus when I've had clients who come to me and I use the feminine sales process, which is just being me, creating the things I create, putting it out there, and then they go. Oh my gosh, I love that. Can I be a part of that? And they attract to me. Those clients fuel me. Those are the clients I show up over and over and over and I don't care if they're asking for more beyond their contract. Those clients fuel me because they were attracted to me and my energy and that attraction to my energy then led to this relationship of they're constantly being attracted to me again and again and again and again because I'm being coming from the feminine and they're just attracting right to that, versus when I go and I chase to get that client, then I'm constantly in the masculine, which means even in the coaching process I'm chasing them.

Speaker 1 7:54

I don't want to chase my client during the coaching process, not at all. I want to be able to offer a buffet of information, a buffet of tools, a buffet of options and let them determine what they want to do to get to where they're going, and then I just assist and guide them through the process of doing so. And sometimes there is room for just a little kick in the root chakra and get a little, challenging them a little bit and push. But that's what is going to shift and that's what's going to actually bring the money into your world. That you're looking for is really focusing on the intention of attracting versus chasing.

Getting Clear on Your Ideal Client

Speaker 1 8:38

And it can be so scary to sit in the attraction energy because it's uncertain, because you don't know. But if you can get so clear on exactly what you are attracting and you speak to nothing but that, you will attract that into your world. But if you're not clear and this is the thing we got to be really, really careful with is that you could very well flip on the attraction energy and not know who you're attracting and speak to everyone and then be overwhelmed and have everyone's opinion and no solution for it, no money coming in, because I've gone viral and I didn't make any extra money from it because I was speaking to everybody and nobody knew that it was for them. It was just so wide. And I've also been in the situation where I got clear and I attracted the wrong person because I got clear on who I wanted but I wasn't speaking the right language and the language and the visual and the whole aspect of the messaging was attracting the wrong person. But I was clear on who it was attracting because it was attracting the same version of the wrong person.

Speaker 1 9:59

But that's the point is that you got to get first very clear on who you're serving, how you're serving them, exactly what that client looks like, so that it's no longer can they afford it and it's. Are they a good fit? Do they excite me? Is this a good match for what I offer, the unique offering that I have, or could they get this elsewhere? Is this a generic offering that they're asking for? Because I no longer do generic offerings. I'm here to offer a very small subset of things and if it's outside of that you're not my ideal client. And if you don't fall within like a couple point range of my ideal client, I'm not going to work with you, because it's only going to dilute my brand.

Speaker 1 10:43

And so to be so clear as to who you're talking to, that you only ever give your attention to those people who fit that mold. You only ever speak to ideal clients, only ever follow up with ideal clients. The moment you see a red flag, the moment you recognize they're not a good fit, you give them a resource, you send them a referral, you say this is not going to be a good fit. Here's your next steps to go elsewhere. Right, that's it. And when you can get so clear on that, that's when you know you're coming from abundance. And it can be hard to make that shift when you're currently in a scarce place and you can't see the certainty on the other side. You don't know that this is exactly going to work and you're thinking I thought I was going to get thousands of dollars from this thing and it just fell through and now you feel like you're scrambling and that's the spiral. Stop the spiral.

Speaker 1 11:50

Meditate, ho'oponopono, sit down, get clear, find neutrality, find the space that you don't get excited when you get the new client. You also don't get a negative response when you have another bill hit that you weren't expecting. Right, finding neutrality in all things Right. It's like your day should look exactly the same if it's the most money you've ever made, even if it's the next day and you lose everything you've ever had. Those days should be the exact same. Neutrality, because you understand that you could gain it all back on the third day because life is unpredictable. That's the one thing we can predict about life is that it's unpredictable.

Speaker 1 12:31

So your job is to become neutral. Your job is to turn inward. Your job is to simply be so present and so you that you only attract those things that are an ideal match for you, because your frequency is so clear as to exactly who you're talking to, exactly what you're serving them and exactly who they are going to become on the other side of working with you. So figure that out and just walk into rooms and be that energy, mirror, that energy, and people will look at you and go. I want to talk to him, I want to talk to her, I want to talk to that person because I see a version of myself in them and I want more of that in my life and that is the positive, feminine sales process and that's when networking gets really, really fun and we are not left in the pain of these moments where we get rejected and let on.

Rebuilding Self-Trust After Rejection

Speaker 1 13:38

Because the pain that we're feeling in that moment, that pain that you're sitting in right now after thinking you were going to have this massive deal and seeing it completely flip in your face, that pain is coming from a loss of self-trust. It has nothing to do with the other person. It has everything to do with the fact that you thought you saw all of the signs for green flags and now you're recognizing that maybe you had the wrong sunglasses on and it distorted the colors of those flags and you were actually seeing red flags but you were turning them green. That lack of self-trust, that's what hurts. It's okay because you can rebuild that self-trust One day at a time. You can rebuild that self-trust one day at a time. You can rebuild that self-trust Every time you show up and you uphold the boundaries that you set with your business, your brand, your brain, your body.

Speaker 1 14:43

Every single time you follow through with the thing you said you were going to do and you say no to the things that look so easy, look so nice. Oh, I just have to do this. It's right there at my fingertips. When you say no to those things because they do not align with the future version of your business, your brain, your body, yourself, upholding those boundaries is when we build that self-trust, because you know that nothing's gonna pull you away from that vision and that version of yourself that you are becoming. That's the big picture.

Speaker 1 15:14

Thing that we're doing here is we're recognizing that this failed lead of a client is just letting us see that we are no longer the version of ourselves that would have said yes and would have worked with that person, because you are going to turn that around today. I know you are going to see the new meaning and I know you are going to turn that around today. I know you are going to see the new meaning and I know you are going to take a new story away from this, and I know that you are going to turn it into up-leveling, into a better version of yourself. Because I know you, because I was you and now I am me, I can tell you that it's so much better on this side of things me. I can tell you that it's so much better on this side of things.

Moving Forward with Clarity

Speaker 1 15:55

So lean into the feminine by leaning into yourself, who you are and the one person that you are talking to. So get super clear on that and everything else will be easy. Also, I'm really sorry you're going through this heartbreak, because it's a painful one and it really does suck. It's okay to cry. It's also okay to set a time frame. Give yourself a couple hours, maybe a day, cry it out, feel like in the dumps, but then get yourself back up. Have a couple conversations with ChatGPT about who your ideal client is and where you're going and what your vision is around your brand. It's super clarifying when you do that. Have them give you an avatar and get to know that person and maybe ask them to embody that person and have some conversations with your ideal client, see what they want. We are in a world of endless possibilities, so choose the mindset that you bring. You've got this.